these are the mixes i loved the most this year

if you know me, then you know how much i love music. music holds so much power and vulnerability and emotion and love.

before i get into specific mixes, here is a playlist of every single song i discovered—and fell in love with—during 2019. if you’re feeling adventurous, hit shuffle and see where it takes you. if not, you can follow along with the seasons (i split the months with a silent track, if that helps at all).

concept playlists for 2019

when you’re the only person awake at the sleepover, holding your breath, feeling like you’re frozen in time. you want this moment to last forever. sleeping bags scattered around the living room, red solo cups on the floor. chips and chocolate cake for breakfast.

my favorite genre of music is love songs disguised as statements about how tiring love is. take this moment with you. let yourself be vulnerable. tell yourself you’re tired of being vulnerable. continue to be so anyway.

bus commute to a friend’s house when it’s sunny out.

homesick but home is the feeling of feeling okay. unsteady breathing. growing used to the feeling of being left behind, of falling in love with moments and memories that everyone’s already forgotten.
sometimes you need to be reminded of what it feels like to dramatically and wistfully stare out the car window.

i fell asleep while on quizlet. synapses firing off telling me i should study for my finals but listen imma be real w/ you i really really really just don’t care anymore.

yeah i'm 18 but i still avoid the crust on whole wheat bread so i mean idk

if u close the door the night could last forever. i am always either falling in love or falling asleep, sometimes both. 

im just watching my own life unravel and occasionally being like Huh what a nice backstory.

some pretentious poetic phrase I thought of while jacked up on ibuprofen

if i could spend forever going everywhere and staying nowhere i think that i probably would

my condolences to anyone who missed the light in me. / i have practiced how to hold my tongue but the truth is i always have something to say. they say it’s 5 o’clock somewhere in the world so i’ll just wait until the clock strikes the next second.

i have entered yet another plane of consciousness. space out with me.

RY X. CALIF. 94002 / 95064 DEPENDING
 ry is probably having an existential crisis